Post by india7 on Jun 13, 2006 6:49:31 GMT -4
Ever wonder what "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child would sound like if it were sung by a bunch of kittens who were also street hooligans and were performing the song in the parking lot of a pub in Northern England? Well then, you're in luck - Click Here ! Oh, and after the song is done, click off of it on your own, or it just keeps playing over and over.
More jokes!
Did you hear the one about the illiterate prostitute? She wound up working in a warehouse.
What do you call a midget prostitute?
A Brothel Sprout
__________________________________________
Okay, a bit of a disclaimer before this next one. It involves an imitation of Ronald Reagan, and I'm just going to go ahead and pat myself on the back and get very self-congratulatory by saying that you really have to hear me do this joke. Here's how far I'll take my hubris - my co-worker who originally told me the joke? After he heard me repeat it to someone, he said, "Okay, that's it - from now on, YOU tell that joke. The Reagan imitation is too spot on!" And there were several times he'd call me, conference me in with another person, and say, "Okay, go ahead and do the Reagan joke for so and so"! So please, keep Ronald Reagan's voice in your head as this joke goes along, because it's alot funnier that way.
_____________________________________________
Ronald Reagan phones OJ Simpson after OJ was cleared in the murder trial.
"Weeeell, OJ, I just can't tell you how thrilled Nancy and I are that you've been cleared of these horrible charges.
You know, OJ, night after night during the murder trial, Nancy and I wept and prayed that you'd be found innocent. We just knew you couldn't have committed such heinous crimes.
And now, OJ, now that this horrible ordeal is behind you, weeellll, Nancy and I would be delighted if you and Nicole would join us over here for dinner some night."
(Yes, yes, *totally* going to hell, yup...)
More jokes!
Did you hear the one about the illiterate prostitute? She wound up working in a warehouse.
What do you call a midget prostitute?
A Brothel Sprout
__________________________________________
Okay, a bit of a disclaimer before this next one. It involves an imitation of Ronald Reagan, and I'm just going to go ahead and pat myself on the back and get very self-congratulatory by saying that you really have to hear me do this joke. Here's how far I'll take my hubris - my co-worker who originally told me the joke? After he heard me repeat it to someone, he said, "Okay, that's it - from now on, YOU tell that joke. The Reagan imitation is too spot on!" And there were several times he'd call me, conference me in with another person, and say, "Okay, go ahead and do the Reagan joke for so and so"! So please, keep Ronald Reagan's voice in your head as this joke goes along, because it's alot funnier that way.
_____________________________________________
Ronald Reagan phones OJ Simpson after OJ was cleared in the murder trial.
"Weeeell, OJ, I just can't tell you how thrilled Nancy and I are that you've been cleared of these horrible charges.
You know, OJ, night after night during the murder trial, Nancy and I wept and prayed that you'd be found innocent. We just knew you couldn't have committed such heinous crimes.
And now, OJ, now that this horrible ordeal is behind you, weeellll, Nancy and I would be delighted if you and Nicole would join us over here for dinner some night."
(Yes, yes, *totally* going to hell, yup...)