Horrible Song Lyrics

[comfortablynumb]

[quote/]It reads like a perverted parody of Dr. Seuss. [/quote]

I was just thinking that Dr. Seuss would be rolling in his grave. Hee!

He also rhymes that with twat. In my neck of the woods, they don't.

[Gabbycatsmom]

bakaney said:

I think I may have found the song that will kick all the asses of the other songs mentioned in here.
From Metallica's Garage Inc, ladies and gentleman, I present "So What":

So fucking what!

Well, I've been to Hastings and I've been to Brighton
I've been to Eastbourne too
So what, so what
And I've been here, I've been there
I've been every fucking where
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little ****

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

Well, I've fucked the queen, I've fucked Bach
I've even sucked an old man's ****
So what, so what
And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat
I rammed my **** right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

And I've drunk that, I've drunk this
I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what
I've had scank, I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little ****

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

A-hahaha!

Yeah!

I've had crabs, I've had lice
I've had the clap and that ain't nice
So what, so what
I've fucked this, I've fucked that
I've even fucked a school girl's twat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

So fucking what!
Yeah

Need I say more?

Well, it just gives me the warm fuzzies to imagine a bunch of Girl or Boy Scouts singing this song around the campfire..

[hobbes]

People, I'd like to submit "Magic Stick" by Li'l Kim and 50 Cent as the most horrid song lyrics ever. Granted, I like that song (I know, I know - I'll be heading to the "Songs I like that I Probably Shouldn't thread), but even I recognize the ick in this:

Chorus: 50 Cent]
I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
Shorty don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you maaagic
(What? What?) Maaagic
I got the magic stick

[50 Cent]
I'm a freak to the core
Get a dose once, you gon' want some more
My tongue touch ya girl, ya toes bound to curl
This exclusive shit I don't share with the world
I have you up early in the mornin, moanin
Back shot, proper or low can't stop us
Been a fiend for this since Rakim made hits
Get the position down pat, then it's time to switch
I'll rock the boat, I'll work the middle
I skeet it up, straight beat it up..
.. and I ain't in the hood with my toast out loc'n
I'm in the telly workin up a sweat strokin
Tonight's the night, you can fall in love
You can call your mama right now, tell her you met a thug
I pop a lot of shit cause I can back it up
My left stroke's the death stroke

[Chorus: Lil' Kim]
I got the magic clit
I'm on fire, lick once, I get licked twice
I am the baddest chick
Shorty you don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you maaagic
(What? What?) Maaagic, uh-huh uh-huh
I got the magic clit

[Lil' Kim]
Lil' Kim not a whore
But I sex a nigga so good, he gotta tell his boys
When it, come to sex don't test my skills
Cause my head game have you HEAD over heels
Give a nigga the chills, have him pay my bills
Buy matchin Lambo's with the same color wheels
.. and I ain't out shoppin spendin dudes C-notes
I'm in the crib givin niggaz deep throat
Tonight Lil' Kim gon' have you in the zone
Girls, call ya crib, I'm answerin the phone
Guys wanna wife me and give me the ring
I'll do it anywhere, anyhow, I'm down for anything
Couple of humps, give a nigga goosebumps
This junk in my trunk ain't made for chumps
When Lil' Kim's around you don't need to lie
It's the "Drugs" baby, I'm makin ya HIGH!!

[Chorus: 50 Cent + (Lil' Kim)]
I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
(I am the baddest chick)
(Shorty you don't believe me, then come with me tonight)
(And I'll show you maaagic - what? What?)
Maaagic (uh-huh, uh-huh)
(I got the magic clit)

[Lil' Kim + (50 Cent)]
Now put your face in it
I know you sprung off in your tongue, I know you tastin it
(Sex ain't a race) But I have a thug nigga breakin records
And the time is (one minute, six seconds)
(Magic stick) I got the magic bop
HAVE THAT ASS TRICKIN AFTER ONE BACK SHOT
(The gifts, the ice, I like that a lot)
The minks, the leathers, the CL drop



Dear God.

[speciousreasoning]

"Shake it off" by Mariah Carey
"Just like a Calgon commercial..... Pack my Louis Vuitton"
Oh, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi.

[huntergrayson]

It should go in the other thread, but I heard "tampon commercial" at first! Besides, Mariah has no idea what a Calgon commercial is before she wrote this song. Yeah, can't wait for her to try to pack up her 50 Louis Vuitton bags and try to make a quick getaway.

I do love the song, though, as well as the new Black Eyed Peas "My Humps" which has even worse lyrics:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these scrubbers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gearrr but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass 'n,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't fakin'
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

(chorus)

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

My favorite bad part is "no drama -- no no no no drama." I also think it's stupid that the radio allows the breasts line but censors "ass."

[nadia]

speciousreasoning said:

"Shake it off" by Mariah Carey
"Just like a Calgon commercial..... Pack my Louis Vuitton"
Oh, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi.

I came in here to post that exact same thing. I just noticed that Calgon line yesterday (she sings it in such a boggled way it sounds nothing like "calgon." : and it's so fucking stupid.

[LoveSparky]

"Good is good and bad is bad"

Once again, Sheryl Crow.....makin' ya THINK.

[ahenobarbus]

I actually like this Jimmy Soul song (it has a bouncy rhythm), but I think a lot of people would be scandalized that this was a top ten hit back in 1963.

(Chorus) If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
She'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly
Her eyes don't match
Take it from me
She's a better catch

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

(Spoken)
"Say man"
"Hey baby"
"I saw your wife the other day"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee"
"Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby"
"Yeah, alright"

[spiderwyman]

I love this song it's such an anthem for female empowerment...Beyonce and the Other Two never disappoint

There are so many horrible lines in this song, I just bolded those that are particularly putrid



Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much
More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much
More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin
It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]

[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man

[Chorus Out]

[dool]

But he speaks of the pompatus of love!

He does, but the line "really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree" kicks ten kinds of arse.

I believe a holla back girl is the girl you come back to at the end of the night, if you can't find anything better.

When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin
It)

Choke. on. my. fuck.