Horrible Song Lyrics

[girlnamedcarl]

But... there is no "art" in "retarded" unless you want to get all acronym-y. There is no art/There is only ard.

[huntergrayson]

Okay, I've defended Shakira's english language lyrics before, but honestly, Don't Bother sucks hard:

She’s got the kind of look that defies gravity
She’s the greatest cook
And she’s fat free

She’s been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She’s got the perfect friends
Oh isn’t she cool?

She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me

Rule of thumb: if you have to spurt out random words and phrases in order to keep a rhyme scheme going, that's BAD. Gravity/fat-free and Tai-chi/than me irk but the rhyming of French with Friends drives me mad whenever I hear it on the radio.

Then there's this lovely spoken word interlude:

[Whispering]
For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won't, but you won't

Girl power! Feminism rocks! Why not give up everything for a loser jackhole who left you for a fat-free French-speaking ho? UGH. I may not be able to understand all of La Tortura, but I will gladly try and fail to sing along to that any day. Oh, I think the following verse speaks for itself:

She's almost six feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I’m really a cat, you see
And it's not my last life at all

[batmom]

I like the song, but yeah, the lyrics make me cringe. Shakira facinates me: the spazzy way she dances, as if she's having convulsions, the weird, random lyrics, but she's so unselfconscious about it. Either she doesn't realize how corny it is or she doesn't care.

[girlnamedcarl]

I honestly think Shakira's a card-carrying nutbar. But she simply doesn't care, so that somehow makes it okay. Yeah, I don't get it either, but that seems to be how it works.

[CAgirl]

Alot of her Spanish songs have weird lyrics like the ones in English, but it make sense in Spanish. I don't know how to explain. I think she may think that it comes out the same way in English, but it doesn't. I still love her music and she's great live. I'd just rather she'd only do her music in Spanish.

[dnt]

I like listening to KTU's "80s at 8" program on Friday mornings, but whoever picked yesterdays songs really hated the 80s. I heard songs I haven't heard for years ("We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes off (To Have a Good Time)" by Jermaine Stewart, anyone?), mainly because they were so awful, no one wants to resurrect them. So I got to hear this gem from Gloria Estefan:

So no matter what it takes
I will steal your heart away
Take a chance, for once, you won't regret it
Take my love, just come and get it

1-2-3-4
Come on, baby, say you love me
5-6-7 times
8-9-10-11
I'm just going to keep on counting
Until you are mine

Good strategy. It never occurred to me to count the objects of my desire into succumbing to my feminine wiles. I guess all I need to know, I really did learn in kindergarten.

[Shalamar]

And don't forget that Gloria Estefan had another song with these lyrics:

Bad bad bad bad boy
You make me feel so good!
...
I call you on the phone
It goes "Ring, ring, ring, ring ring ring!"

[Mutagen]

marywebgirl said:

This is sort of obscure, but I was listening to my The Bravery CD and I caught this line:

"You put the art in retarded"

I'm vascillating between thinking that it's horrible and making it my signature.

Signature! Signature!

Seriously, I split an eyeball laughing when I saw that. The more you try to parse it, the funnier it gets.

[Mikal]

marywebgirl said:

This is sort of obscure, but I was listening to my The Bravery CD and I caught this line:

"You put the art in retarded"

I'm vascillating between thinking that it's horrible and making it my signature.

I've misheard that line as both "you put the r in retarded" and " you put the art in restarted." Why must the best song on the album (Public Service Announcement) be so confusing? Damn you The Bravery! *shakes fists*

[Ripley]

I'm pleased to nominate an old song. This is one of those songs that I've known about forever, but never really paid attention to until yesterday: Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love):

Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it

Educated fleas

Some Argentines, without means, do it
People say in Boston even beans do it

Boy, the songwriter was really stretching with that rhyme. He couldn't have written "If you're from the Phillipines, you'll do it" or "People who don't have spleens do it" or anything else?