Horrible Song Lyrics

[roxpopuli]

Topic? The Steve Miller Band. I love 'em, but the lyrics to "Take the Money and Run" are so lame. And that's just one example. I mean, "They headed down to old El Paso/That's where they ran into a great big hassle"?

But he speaks of the pompatus of love!

"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas"

Yeah, okay, I know it was for a jolly good cause and I know all the rest of it, but...there wasn't any snow in Exeter last Christmas either. In fact, I don't remember a white Christmas any year of my life. Should I be consumed with woe?

Yea, no snow in L.A. either. I must go commit suicide, but not before going to Mickey D's and consuming more calories in one sitting than an Ethiopian child gets in a week.

When I was in high school, one of the most popular cheers during basketball games went something like "go bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" repeated ad nauseum by the cheerleaders and spectators.

There was indeed such a cheer--I know because I had to cheer it in high school about a century ago [/small voice]. But that still makes Gwen an idiot for writing a song about pretending to be a cheerleader in her friggin' 30s.

My contribution for horrible song lyrics has to be anything Yes ever wrote. Don't believe me? Check out the lyrics to Fragile. Although the music was gorgeous, every song is nothing but gibberish. I think I read somewhere that this was deliberate--that they wrote the lyrics with an ear to how they sounded, not what they meant. If this is true, they were DAMN good at it, or on some seriously good hallucinagens:

Cold summer listening
hot colour melting the anger to stone
I still remember the dream there
I still remember the time you said goodbye
did we really tell lies
letting in the sunshine
did we really count to one hundred

[squsie]

There was indeed such a cheer--I know because I had to cheer it in high school about a century ago [/small voice]. But that still makes Gwen an idiot for writing a song about pretending to be a cheerleader in her friggin' 30s.

[sv]When I was a high-school cheerleader, we had a chant: "R-O-W-D-I-E, that's the way you spell . . . ." Well, of course, it wasn't the way (isn't the way) you spell "rowdy". [/sv]

Does anyone remember Letterman's series about "Billie Jean"? "The CHAIR is not my son"?

[ladymadonna]

Rox, that is pretty much the way I feel about Yes, too. Beautiful music, and horrible lyrics.

Another offender is Trey Anatasio and Phish. Lovely music arrangements and terrible lyrics (and Trey's astounding self-centeredness).

I won't spare a moment on the dog-faced boy,
I won't lend another hand to the worm-girl of Hanoi.
Don't deplete my oxygen
for the guy who's turning blue.
But ask me, and I'll do anything for you.

*

Ummm..... wha? You wouldn't give AIR to a man when he's dying but you'll do anything for your lover? mmmm kay. Who ARE the dog faced boy and the worm girl anyway? Why are you so antagonistic toward them?

*Yes, I get the social commentary there, but they are still stupid lyrics. ALL of Phishs' music is like that.

One more comment and then I'm out.

Nickelback: "Figured You Out"

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease
*snip*
I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress
*snip*
And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

So, basically, I'd like you good and drunk so I can rape and choke you. Nice message to send to your fans. Misogynistic jerks.

[roxpopuli]

I won't lend another hand to the worm-girl of Hanoi.

Wow, if the lyrics had said worm-girl of New York and L.A. I would have thought they were talking about Paris Hilton

I nominate the cheesy 80's tune Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart:

I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Watch you live and breathe your storylines

(And) I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes

While she's deceiving me
It cuts my security (has)
She got control of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no
I can't believe it
You got it made with the guy in shades, oh no

(And) I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Forget my name while you collect your claim

And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes

While she's deceiving me
She cuts my security (has)
She got control of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no
I can't believe it!
Don't be afraid of the guy in shades, oh no
It can't escape you
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades, oh no

So tell me Corey, ever wear your sunglasses at night?

I said I wear my sunglasses
I wear my sunglasses at night
Wear my sunglasses at night

Ok! We get it, you unbelieveable dork!

[Auroranorth]

I just heard "Hollaback Girl" for the first time and am wondering, has it been translated into English yet?

(Hail Dwanollah)

[e c0li]

To quote R. Kelly's cinematographic disaster "Trapped in the Closet"

"Oh my God a rubber....rubber....rubber"

[carrier76]

Sunglasses at Night is horrid, yes, but since it's from the '80s, it gets a free pass from me. I don't think one or two-hit wonders w/ cheesy synth lines need to explain themselves. Ha.

Wait a minute...didn't R. Kelly already do a song years back about cheating w/ someone? The Isley brothers were in the video and the girl got roughed up (so did R., if I remember correctly). Keep it on the down low, so no one will know?

R. Kelly Knows Cheating.

I love the "He's opening up the closet, closet closet closet" line though. Smart.

[Deleted]

I saw an interview with McCartney in which he was asked about this everchangin world in which we live in. He copped to the fact that the lyric is grammatically incorrect, but claimed that he needed to make the rhyme. Then he was told that some have heard it as "in which we're livin", and he said he wished he had thought of that. Listening for the extra syllable in "we're" is like listening for the "a" in "One small step for man". It isn't there, but you wish it was.

More Destiny's Child anyone?

I'm a survivor. I'monna make it. I mon survive, and keep on survivin'

Because she's a survivor, if you didn't know.

Or "Jenny From the Block"? Seven songwriters to come up with:

Yo, yo
It take hard work to cash checks
So don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, the assets
You get back what you put out
And even if you take the good route
You can't count the hood out
After a while you'll know who to blend with
Just keep it real with the ones you came in with
Best thing to do is stay low
The LOX's and J Lo
They act like they dont but they know
they cant get a penny from the block
but at the end of the day she still just Jenny from the block
(Everyone's got to make a living)

[roxpopuli]

Sunglasses at Night is horrid, yes, but since it's from the '80s, it gets a free pass from me. I don't think one or two-hit wonders w/ cheesy synth lines need to explain themselves. Ha.

Oh, I so agree. I'll admit it was a value judgment, but I love this music, too. I'd better--I play it on my show every week!

Best thing to do is stay low
The LOX's and J Lo
They act like they dont but they know

Change the "L" to an "R" and I'm famous!

[tinyshoes]

carrier76 said:

Wait a minute...didn't R. Kelly already do a song years back about cheating w/ someone? The Isley brothers were in the video and the girl got roughed up (so did R., if I remember correctly). Keep it on the down low, so no one will know?

R. Kelly Knows Cheating.

I love the "He's opening up the closet, closet closet closet" line though. Smart.

I'm sure in real life, the closet he's hiding in is full of old Barbie dolls and stuffed animals, and Garanimals clothing. And instead of hiding from a boyfriend or husband, he's hiding from the girl's daddy.

I know. Too easy.