Lori Loughlin

[Queena]

The fake rowing pictures can't be excused. I don't feel sorry for her, nor anyone else who buys their children's way through life.

[MrsOldManBalls]

With her attitude towards all of this Lori might not fare too well with the Reds, Taystees, Big Boos and Gloria’s where she ends up doing her time.

[chonies]

I don’t really know where to put this, but I’m a college professor and the differences between my experience as a student and my students’ experiences are really striking. On a study abroad, my students were calling home all the time and their parents were worried if they didn’t check in every day. We were in one of the safest countries in the world. Before we left, a lot of parents contacted me about things their students should have been dealing with; I know a lot of students give their log in passwords to their parents, which is not illegal but technically a huge violation of IT policy to share passwords with anyone. Legally, I can’t tell a parent if the student is even in my class, let alone what their grades are. And so on.

Anyway, I don’t have any sympathy for Lori in the least but I can also see how she doesn’t think this was a crime because it’s probably pretty typical, and it’s a slippery slope. For the last 10 years I’ve worked at division II colleges that are often the safety school or the commuter school, and definitely not the Harvard of the South, so it’s not really the same issues I have on my campus, but they are part of the same ether.

I digress. I wonder what’s on Hallmark Murders today?

[Ginger]

Nov 19, 2005 15:13:53 GMT -4 chonies said:

On a study abroad, my students were calling home all the time and their parents were worried if they didn’t check in every day. We were in one of the safest countries in the world.

I think when I studied abroad in college, I called home twice in 6 weeks. My parents knew the name of the host university I was with in case of emergency, but that's about it. Things have changed.

I was on Amtrak a few weeks ago and sat and listened to a father talk on the phone for the whole trip with his teenage daughter, his ex-wife and his current wife about the status of the daughter's friendships. Daughter is a high school student and had gone to a party the previous Saturday and drank so much she shit her pants. The father said he didn't care about the drinking, and he didn't. (She's a junior in high school and she drank so much at a party she shit her pants! And he didn't say a SINGLE WORD to the daughter about it.)

He was outraged that some of the daughter's friends were now making fun of her, outraged that he had not been told about this social situation, and outraged that his daughter was not being aggressive enough about repairing her reputation. I listened for an hour while this father discussed each and every one of his daughter's friends by name, had the daughter read out the texts she had received from her friends, and dictated to her how she needed to respond. It was NUTS.

[chonies]

Jun 9, 2019 10:43:06 GMT -4 Ginger said:

Nov 19, 2005 15:13:53 GMT -4 chonies said:

On a study abroad, my students were calling home all the time and their parents were worried if they didn’t check in every day. We were in one of the safest countries in the world.

I think when I studied abroad in college, I called home twice in 6 weeks. My parents knew the name of the host university I was with in case of emergency, but that's about it. Things have changed.

Same. I asked my mom a few weeks ago because I wanted to be sure, but I got my own passport, figured out how to get places, and sorted out money. I do wonder about a few things: I think the 1990s weren’t so different from when my parents traveled in the 1970s, a lot of my students had never flown before and suspect their parents hadn’t either, and also if information overload was confusing people. The most over protective-seeming parents were moms of boys, which rang a weird bell.

I was on Amtrak a few weeks ago and sat and listened to a father talk on the phone for the whole trip with his teenage daughter, his ex-wife and his current wife about the status of the daughter's friendships. Daughter is a high school student and had gone to a party the previous Saturday and drank so much she shit her pants. The father said he didn't care about the drinking, and he didn't. (She's a junior in high school and she drank so much at a party she shit her pants! And he didn't say a SINGLE WORD to the daughter

Holy hell. I mean, there’s a time and a place, but still.

[Deleted]

There's nothing wrong with parents supporting their adult children. You don't just turn 18 and go, poof, you don't need their support anymore. I'm preparing to move across the country on my own and my mom is doing the drive with me just so there's another driver there, and she'll fly home, and I'm in my early 30s. Families are supposed to be there for each other no matter your age.

HOWEVER, lest you think I'm defending any of these people, helicopter parents ruin their children for life. The children don't know how to do basic tasks and they are emotionally dependent on their parents. And I think in the case of women especially they latch onto kind of controlling men because they're used to having someone take care of things for them. Olivia Jade might be a millionaire due to a combination of inheritance and her own earnings from social media, but she probably doesn't know the first thing about money management or how to be independent.

Then again, this whole situation is just insane to me anyway. USC is a good school but it's not Princeton. And as another person pointed out earlier in this thread, even when you do go to Harvard, after 5 years or so everyone is pretty much equal minus those at the very, very top, and they probably had family connections that would have put them there anyway. Olivia Jade didn't need to go to college in the first place and didn't want to, and is USC really worth all of this?

[chonies]

ximena, that's exactly what I'm talking about. In my case, I didn't hear anything from the students--it was all the parents swooping in and sorting it out, rather than calling to clarify a confusing point, or wondering about a highly specific situation. And most of the parents I heard from had students who flaked in the preparation stuff. Correlation or causation? The world may never know...

That said, my mom does continue to help me and my sisters out as needed, including financially from time to time, and I know I'm lucky. But we've definitely faced consequences of choices, actions or inaction.

And finally, yes! Why USC? I don't get it. I know it's a good school, but I'm just baffled. Maybe the parents thought they'd be able to fly under the radar.

[180deg]

Jun 9, 2019 11:37:17 GMT -4 chonies said:

And finally, yes! Why USC? I don't get it. I know it's a good school, but I'm just baffled. Maybe the parents thought they'd be able to fly under the radar.

I'd guess it's more about USC being in LA than anything else - they didn't want their precious babies too far from home; anything East Coast would be completely out of the question.

[Deleted]

Jun 9, 2019 11:23:25 GMT -4 @ximena said:

There's nothing wrong with parents supporting their adult children. You don't just turn 18 and go, poof, you don't need their support anymore. I'm preparing to move across the country on my own and my mom is doing the drive with me just so there's another driver there, and she'll fly home, and I'm in my early 30s. Families are supposed to be there for each other no matter your age.

HOWEVER, lest you think I'm defending any of these people, helicopter parents ruin their children for life. The children don't know how to do basic tasks and they are emotionally dependent on their parents. And I think in the case of women especially they latch onto kind of controlling men because they're used to having someone take care of things for them. Olivia Jade might be a millionaire due to a combination of inheritance and her own earnings from social media, but she probably doesn't know the first thing about money management or how to be independent.

Then again, this whole situation is just insane to me anyway. USC is a good school but it's not Princeton. And as another person pointed out earlier in this thread, even when you do go to Harvard, after 5 years or so everyone is pretty much equal minus those at the very, very top, and they probably had family connections that would have put them there anyway. Olivia Jade didn't need to go to college in the first place and didn't want to, and is USC really worth all of this?

I have a 15-year-old son. Longtime Greecies know him as LilB 1.0. Well, LilB 1.0 is now 6 ft. tall and 175 lbs. We have three years with him until he goes to college. A few weeks ago, our neighbors were telling us about a bird's nest in their backyard. Well, one of the baby birds fell out and their dog gobbled it up. I told MrB, "That is (LilB 1.0). If he were to leave the nest right now, he would sink like a stone and a basset hound would eat him."

So we have embarked on trying to prepare him to take responsibility for himself and be a self-sufficient adult. If he is missing cross country practice, I don't email the coach. I don't fix his meals for him and I don't wash his clothes or towels. The unfortunate consequence of that is that when he gets to the last clean towel now, he just uses it over and over. When they are little, you have to anticipate their needs. But there comes a time when a parent has to stop and many parents don't know when to stop. It's tough to transition, I admit.

Part of the reason that I am paying attention to this more is because I am on a group chat with other neighborhood moms with eleven-year-olds. 2.0 is the only daughter in the group, everyone else has sons. This chat group has been really eye-opening. The moms control everything. They ask these questions about projects and schoolwork that I have no idea about because I don't do the projects, 2.0 does. And my personal pet peeve is parents who do their kids' science fair projects but that is a rant for another day. But I see how they coddle their sons and I am determined to not to do that with her brother. It is a weird phenomenon that seems to be stronger with sons, I agree with the Greecie upthread.

In these parents' defense, it is a type of peer pressure with other parents. You see all of these parents doing things for their kids and you think you should too or it will look like you don't care, or are too self-involved, or you don't take their educational life seriously. I will even get criticism from my educator SIL for not going over homework with him or not studying with him for tests. But he has to ask us, if he asks for help we will. But if he doesn't, I refuse to be the parent that says, "LilB, you have a test Friday." " LilB, are you ready for your test Friday?" "LilB do you need help studying with your test Friday?" "LilB don't forget about your test Friday!" Because then he will know that he doesn't have to keep up with anything because Mom will always remind him.

[ratscabies]

I routinely tell MissP that I WANT her to flunk out of performing arts school. The real school is 7 minutes closer to the house!