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Post by granolamom on Jun 30, 2021 14:01:49 GMT -4
My son graduated HS exactly two weeks ago, and he just finished writing all his thank-you notes for graduation gifts (with some prodding from me.) Me: Doesn't it feel good to have them all done? Him: Ugh. Me: Unless someone else sends you more money... then you'll have to write more! Him: Noooo! *first world problems I actually love writing letters but hate having thank-yous hanging over my head. These days, when I send a gift, I often add something like, "My further gift to you is that you don't have to send a thank-you note. Just text me to let me know you got it, and go on with your life!" Props to you and your kiddo for getting it done! |
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groovethang
Sloane Ranger
Posts: 2,619
Jan 5, 2007 9:15:54 GMT -4
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Post by groovethang on Jun 30, 2021 20:21:21 GMT -4
My son graduated HS exactly two weeks ago, and he just finished writing all his thank-you notes for graduation gifts (with some prodding from me.) Me: Doesn't it feel good to have them all done? Him: Ugh. Me: Unless someone else sends you more money... then you'll have to write more! Him: Noooo! *first world problems I actually love writing letters but hate having thank-yous hanging over my head. These days, when I send a gift, I often add something like, "My further gift to you is that you don't have to send a thank-you note. Just text me to let me know you got it, and go on with your life!" Props to you and your kiddo for getting it done! Genius. I am so stealing this š |
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Post by scarlet on Jul 1, 2021 10:31:45 GMT -4
These days, when I send a gift, I often add something like, "My further gift to you is that you don't have to send a thank-you note. Just text me to let me know you got it, and go on with your life!" That's great and I'm sure people appreciate it! |
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Post by cabbagekid on Apr 5, 2024 13:25:17 GMT -4
I had to resurrect this thread because I feel like Iām going crazy.
My friend is getting married this summer. Her wedding is in Europe since she lives there, but I live in California. Most of our friend group is spread out globally, so quite a few of us are flying in for the wedding.
Typically for weddings Iāll give anywhere between $300-500 depending on how well I know the couple. Iāve also given as small as $100 for cousins Iāve lost touch with. I honestly was not planning (because the wedding is so far out) on giving anything since Iām already spending so much money on a hotel and flight just to attend. Maybe as the wedding day got closer, Iād give and the equivalent of $50.
Now after talking to one of my friends, who is also attending, the expectation is that I still give $300 or so. Again, totally fine if I didnāt have to fly over the Atlantic and also spend money on a hotel. For hotel and flight alone, Iāve already spent $3000.
Anyway, whatās the proper etiquette for gift giving for a wedding that you have to travel to? (Iām not considering this the typical destination wedding since she is getting married in a city thatās nearby where she currently lives)
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Post by sardonictart on Apr 6, 2024 15:50:37 GMT -4
I had to resurrect this thread because I feel like Iām going crazy. ā¦ Anyway, whatās the proper etiquette for gift giving for a wedding that you have to travel to? (Iām not considering this the typical destination wedding since she is getting married in a city thatās nearby where she currently lives) I have attended destination weddings before (both kinds - where the couple was from wedding area, but I was not, and when neither was from the wedding area). Neither couple expected a gift from anyone that traveled. I donāt know if thatās in the etiquette books or not, but I think itās ridiculous for a couple to expect people to dole out cash after spending so much to attend. |
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tazmin
Landed Gentry
Posts: 772 
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Post by tazmin on Apr 6, 2024 19:33:52 GMT -4
I had to resurrect this thread because I feel like Iām going crazy. ā¦ Anyway, whatās the proper etiquette for gift giving for a wedding that you have to travel to? (Iām not considering this the typical destination wedding since she is getting married in a city thatās nearby where she currently lives) I have attended destination weddings before (both kinds - where the couple was from wedding area, but I was not, and when neither was from the wedding area). Neither couple expected a gift from anyone that traveled. I donāt know if thatās in the etiquette books or not, but I think itās ridiculous for a couple to expect people to dole out cash after spending so much to attend. I completely agree with sardonictart. I, too, have no idea what is considered etiquette, but I think anyone who invites you to come such a distance at great expense should not expect you to shell out for a gift as well. (Their gift is you!  ) But thatās just me.  |
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Post by granolamom on Apr 6, 2024 23:49:30 GMT -4
I'll be the wet blanket here and say that unless the bride and groom have explicitly said, "No gifts," everyone who is invited to a wedding is supposed to pony up with a gift. That said, the happy couple are not supposed to have expectations as to the value of the gift. If all that money is going to travel and lodging, a small-dollar but (hopefully) heartfelt gift is fine!
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Post by famvir on Apr 7, 2024 14:20:32 GMT -4
I wouldnāt send a check/cash in the card at the venue.
I would bring a nice congratulations card.
Then being or send a real gift when they get home. No one needs to schlep stuff home from a destination wedding. (I used to gift kitchen sized hammer/screw driver/fix-it sets in the $75-$100 range).
Someone gave me a power drill and I still have it!
I use it more than the hand mixer or toaster, and a stand mixer is way expensive!
You have a year to gift the happy couple (Miss Manners), so you have time to keep your eyes and ears open for cool inexpensive things.
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Post by cabbagekid on Apr 8, 2024 3:52:43 GMT -4
Thank you, everyone!
I honestly thought I was going crazy, Iāve always treated traveling extensive distances for the wedding meant that your presence was the present. Glad to know Iām not insane and this group of friends are just overachievers in gift giving.
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Post by tabby on Apr 8, 2024 9:40:11 GMT -4
I used to gift kitchen sized hammer/screw driver/fix-it sets in the $75-$100 range When my sister and brother-in-law got married, my BIL's best man gave them a toolbox with a set of basic tools and supplies. Great gift. (He went all-out and had the hammer engraved with their names and wedding date, which I thought was adorable.) |
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) But thatās just me. 
