Anne Heche

[scarlet]

Mar 13, 2005 12:45:42 GMT -4 Ginger said:

I'm re-watching Wag the Dog in her honor. I'm not going to say she was a brilliant actress, but she did have potential that I think her personal issues prevented from developing.

Great movie and she was really good in it. She had a knack for playing sarcastic or jaded characters.

[Mouse]

Anne Heche was terrific in Cedar Rapids. Very funny movie too. Yes, she was a talented actress.

I feel for her family.

[cremetangerine82]

CW: suicide, mental health, ignorance around suicide and mental health that continues to this day.

I REALLY wouldn't say she "finds peace" or "I'm glad she didn't hurt anyone else" or "why couldn't she have killed herself better?" after what is starting to look like a deliberate car accident and one she may not survive. The similar thing happened when Robin Williams's suicide with "Genie, you are now free" Twitter posts, which I hope his daughter Zelda told posters to knock it off. France Bean Cobain rightly chewed Lana Del Ray's "I wish I were dead like Kurt" because Frances isn't at peace without a father who killed himself before she turned 2. Suicide doesn't end in peace, but leaves others to pick up the pieces; even Courtney Love: she's a widow, and as awful as she can be, but she's not at peace and Kurt's death contributed to more dysfunction.

Every May is Mental Health Awareness Month, while EVERY DAY even in May, ill-informed people say disgusting things that they wouldn't think to say to someone with cancer or diabetes or heart disease. NO self-inflicted death will give anyone peace. Anne is not at peace, her children aren't at peace, and neither will those who love her won't have peace. I hope the public who's been mocking her for decades will never have peace; you don't think those odious comments helped her?!?

At this point, I'm hoping there are viable organs to donate. My aunt (with two minor children left without a mother) was is a fatal car accident in 1994 where the only organ that was donated was her corneas to the blind and visually impaired. The only silver lining is that donors will literally have a chance at a better life.

[Lwaxana]

My best friend killed themselves and I always like to think they're at peace now. People grieve and cope in different ways.

[hildymatildy]

Aug 12, 2022 13:33:13 GMT -4 Lwaxana said:

My best friend killed themselves and I always like to think they're at peace now. People grieve and cope in different ways.

Oh, onthepotty, I am so sorry you lost your best friend so tragically.

As for Anne, her life was so troubled. Her father molested her, her mother disowned her, her brother committed suicide. Some people are strong enough to overcome those sorts of wounds and as Brad Paisley sang, Anne "Didn't have the strength to get up off her knees". It's really heart breaking to see someone's life end when clearly she had been fighting hard.

Should she have been drinking and driving? No. Oh course not. It was a stupid decision made by a woman who was either drunk or otherwise psychologically impaired. She has paid the consequences with her life and now her son's no longer have a mother. I hope the online hate stops, it doesn't do anyone good.

In an odd wtf sorta parallel... in 2017 Jensen Buchanan was sentenced to a year in prison for hitting another vehicle head on whilst driving drunk - the connection is that she played Victoria/Marley after Anne left the role onthe soap opera, Another World.

[cremetangerine82]

Aug 12, 2022 13:33:13 GMT -4 Lwaxana said:

My best friend killed themselves and I always like to think they're at peace now. People grieve and cope in different ways.

CW: suicide

I'm so sorry to hear about that, onthepotty, and you can think and feel however you want in your grief. Both my uncle and cousin ended their lives, and I just loathe those who ignorantly say that they're "at peace now". My uncle was committed to a psych ward, and due to the incompetent medical staff, they neglected to take his shoelaces. My cousin was 18 when he ended his life after his mother's car accident and his father's fatal alcohol/drug overdose less a decade later. "At peace" is the farthest thing to think about their deaths, it pains me that words said to a grieving person can hurt more than heal.

Just this June (on what would've been my parent's 44th wedding anniversary) the presiding pastor (hired at the last minute) repeatedly told people "no more tears" and "no more crying, while I cry harder because I felt guilty I couldn't "hold it together", so I certainly don't like being told how I should or feel when complications from COVID-19 killed my father three days after Christmas 2020. I don't know if it's correlated that I'm now on five medications for depression and generalized anxiety disorder (NEW diagnosis!), but hearing that at his memorial rubbed salt into the wounds (including the car accident ones).

Again, I hope you didn't feel targeted by that, I meant no personal offense to you or disgruntledpelican.

ETA: hildymatildy, according to TMZ quoted by tiggertoo on page 30, there was no alcohol found in her blood sample, just cocaine and fentanyl (which could've been administered in the ambulance and/or the hospital).

Mouse, Margo, and disgruntledpelican, thank you for the kind words. I concur that the National Alliance on Mental Illness is a great charity, cancan.

[Mouse]

Aug 12, 2022 14:18:25 GMT -4 cremetangerine82 said:

Aug 12, 2022 13:33:13 GMT -4 Lwaxana said:

My best friend killed themselves and I always like to think they're at peace now. People grieve and cope in different ways.

CW: suicide

I'm so sorry to hear about that, onthepotty, and you can think and feel however you want in your grief. Both my uncle and cousin ended their lives, and I just loathe those who ignorantly say that they're "at peace now". My uncle was committed to a psych ward, and due to the incompetent medical staff, they neglected to take his shoelaces. My cousin was 18 when he ended his life after his mother's car accident and his father's fatal drug overdose less a decade later. "At peace" is the farthest thing to think about their deaths, it pains me that words said to a grieving person can hurt more than heal.

Just this June (on what would've been my parent's wedding anniversary) the presiding pastor (hired at the last minute) repeatedly told people "no more tears" and "no more crying" while I cry harder because I felt guilty I couldn't "hold it together", so I certainly don't like being told how I should or feel when complications from COVID-19 killed my father three days after Christmas 20202.

Again, I hope you didn't feel targeted by that, I meant no personal offense to you.

I'm really sorry about your losses, cremetangerine82, and I'm sorry for anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide. You're right; no one can tell a grieving person how to grieve. I can only imagine how Anne Heche's family is feeling right now.

On the previous page, I said I hoped Anne would find peace. I didn't consider how that would come across, alas. I just remembered that she was a very tortured person and had been for much of her life. Sometimes these things are hard to conceptualize if you haven't lived them, and I acknowledge that.

[disgruntledpelican]

I don't think that Anne was suicidal. She had purchased a $125 red wig from a salon owner less than half an hour before the crash, and posed for a lovely photo with him. In addition when she hit the garage (the first crash) she was wearing her seat belt. Those two things do not point to suicide to me. I think she was speeding after the first crash to get away from the scene in case the police were called. I would think it would be easier (if that is possible) for her sons to accept that it was a terrible accident possibly caused by an inebriated mom, rather than a suicidal one.

Onthepotty, I agree with you. Like most of us I have been touched by suicide, including 50 years ago yesterday when my best friend killed herself at the age of 15. That honestly was a shock, but I have always hoped she was/is at peace. My sis in law's 39 year old son took his own life last September. Some people find this world to be a very cruel place, and hope that the next world is a better place. I hope that for them as well.

Cremetangerine82, I am so sorry for your losses. People definitely do grieve differently. My mom died after a decade of many illnesses including cancer three times, strokes and heart attacks. She had just turned 77 when she passed and was not ready to leave, she fought with every fibre of her being. My boss at that time told me that her passing was a blessing. I told her that it was not, that Mom was not ready to go and I was not ready to let her go. I've really never forgiven her for that comment. So I understand your feelings, and while people think they are helping they really have no idea how what they might say might be received depending on that person and their experiences.

[cancan]

Aug 12, 2022 14:29:55 GMT -4 disgruntledpelican said:

I don't think that Anne was suicidal. She had purchased a $125 red wig from a salon owner less than half an hour before the crash, and posed for a lovely photo with him. In addition when she hit the garage (the first crash) she was wearing her seat belt. Those two things do not point to suicide to me. I think she was speeding after the first crash to get away from the scene in case the police were called. I would think it would be easier (if that is possible) for her sons to accept that it was a terrible accident possibly caused by an inebriated mom, rather than a suicidal one.

Onthepotty, I agree with you. Like most of us I have been touched by suicide, including 50 years ago yesterday when my best friend killed herself at the age of 15. That honestly was a shock, but I have always hoped she was/is at peace. My sis in law's 39 year old son took his own life last September. Some people find this world to be a very cruel place, and hope that the next world is a better place. I hope that for them as well.

I agree. I am not clear why people are suggesting that it was a suicide attempt - is it because of the similarity to her brother?

I am truly very sorry for all of you who have lost your loved ones to suicide. My heart goes out to all of you. Let me take this opportunity to plug NAMI.org, which provides wonderful support -- their Family to Family course, for family members of those dealing with mental illness, was life changing for my family and me.

[Margo]

I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you, cremetangerine82. I've struggled with depression myself, and while it's nothing compared to what Anne experienced or other people's circumstances, I'm very sympathetic to the pain and hopelessness someone must feel to take their life.

Let me just say that it's extremely unfortunate that killing yourself by driving a car into something was imprinted in Anne's memory because this is how her brother died. It's tragic that this is likely how she will die, I'm sorry for what she went through in the time before they could pull her out of the car, and I'm very glad and think the world got lucky that it wasn't a much bigger tragedy with someone else being killed or hurt.